my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
