Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
