hell yes lets make some ravioli
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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