i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
