i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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