My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
