I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize