the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
