But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
