they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
