I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
