billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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