Kiss
Puke
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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