God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize