And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
