I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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