well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
