Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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