i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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