at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
