Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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