omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
