i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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