You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
