I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
