The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
