Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
