I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize