Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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