i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
