it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
