I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
