Do you still have your period?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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