Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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