Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
