Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
