no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize