i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
