So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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