I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
