Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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