I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
