More tranny stories later!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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