I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Is Oprah even human
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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