Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
