We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize