I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
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I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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