Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
