its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
