I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
