i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
