We won't sleep together?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
