We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
