just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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