what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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