She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
