so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
