I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize