Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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